On Why You Can't Live with Your Parents for the Rest of Your Life.

Disclaimer: I know the parent in question may read this blog. I also know said parent won't admit to reading it. Don't take it as the nastyness you assume it is.

So as some readers know from my last post, I broke up with my boyfriend. Yes, I'm ok and it was a long time coming. He was a 37 year old man pretending to be 29. He never treated me with any respect or possibly cared for me. Oh yeah did I mention he had an actual girlfriend who lives near my office and another address completely? Suffice to say, I am better off without someone that can't be honest with the person they've been "dating" for over a year.

Which brings me to my parental unit. I love this parental unit. I think he has the ability to be a caring human being and has at times been the only one who has cared about me. Except since my other parental unit went apeshit crazy, he's been a shut in. He has maybe 1 close friend but other than he doesn't leave the house sans lunches with his mother or the Doctor Who meetings I kick him out of the house to go to.

I think he sometimes forgets I am not Justine. This is troublesome when he talks to me the same way he did to her. Yes, my dad while loving has a lot of anger issues. Not ones that make him dangerous but they make him passive aggressive. Its taken a lot of work for me to not take a lot of his vitriole to heart. When he's mad, he loves to tell me how my siblings have always hated me or how messed up I am.

But he puts up with me, so I am supposed to suppress all the hurt he makes me feel because that's him. I have touched on the topic before of how jealous I am of some of my friends who were able to escape their parents house after college and grad school. Me despite the fact I make decent money has to pay 1200 to uncle sam.. The cost of a decent apartment in Philly. I also realized I want to go back to school something else that makes escaping my dad's house harder.

This morning my dad crossed the same line asswipe did. I can't just walk out on him because I have no where to go but I know I can't make him understand how his words hurt me. My mom was apeshit crazy, I'm not. Sometimes, I wish he could see Jacqui and not Justine. He doesn't realize he does it. Whenever I mention how stressed and anxious I feel about work, he always says "well take some medication, mine works great!".He thinks his pills makes him all better but he's unwilling to put in any work so he's just angry all the time.