I have been discussing being OTD and such I haven't been discussing something a little closer to my heart.
Many of my close friends know when I was 16, I was diagnosed with NVLD
(non-verbal learning disorder). Today, I would be classified with
Aspergers Syndrome (or as an "Aspie"). It is considered on the autism
scale but on the "high functional" side.
I have heard it called an "invisible" disability" because its not an
obvious one to spot immediately. For the most part, I am just like
everyone else. Except for a few small things I have gotten by. NVLD hits everyone differently. For me, my social skills and physio-
spatial area are the most affected. It means sometimes I can be frank
which can border on rude at times. I can tell story upon story where my
bluntness was confused for "insulting" and "distasteful" or how my
rambling on about a singular topic has been confused for monopolizing a
conversation. "NT"s so hard pressed on being "polite" would allow the
rambling or get frustrated and never talk to me again.
When I was 16, the shock of finally having a concrete understanding of
what was wrong with me was well tough at first. I was considered a
"smart kid" but teachers would often say I was a " should have been". I
would get along with teachers that weren't adversarial and allowed me
to ask questions because that was how I understood the world. They also would frequently blame me for my inability to get along with kids my own age. I have vivid memories of teachers telling my parents I should be reading less or reading what the other kids are.
To compound things, I would get overstimulated in situations. Often
having what could be called "temper tantrums" even up to today. Feeling
trapped, all I can do sometimes is cry when I feel the inability to escape. I never understood why at my
advancing ages failed to outgrow it.
Why now? Why am I announcing it? Its because I have come to terms with this not being something I should be ashamed of anymore. It doesn't make me weird or a bad person, this is a small drop in who I am. As I continue my self-reflection, I have seen many an event in a different light and hope to be able to learn more as I continue to get back in the time machine...
For some more information and definitions: http://grasp.org/page/what-is-as-autism-pdd
4 comments:
wow, i give you full respect for coming out like this. in this culture that obsesses about the state of the human mind, this must have been a big yet tough step for you. i would also like to add that many of my heroes (i am a physics major) have also had this disease.
i am not a doctor, nor did i ever study medicine or psychology, so what i am about to say is pure opinion. i have always used aspergers as an example of a condition that can (and in my opinion, should) be viewed as an advantage, from one point of view and a "disease" from another. it is only in a culture such as ours, which imposes such an importance on ideas "politeness" and being social, that this can be viewed as a "disease" when in fact many people with this condition are extremely intelligent, more so than the average person. i have always wondered if humans ever evolved any further would we even be able to recognize its advantage, or would we look at it as a deviation from the norm which must be "cured." i think (and again this is a laymans opinion) that aspergers seems to be an example of this. it is something that can be viewed as an advantage in the right viewpoint, however we, as a culture seem to try and push these differences under the rug, or change them away.
there seems to be no reason (in my mind at least) why this condition should ever stop you from doing anything that you can dream of. be yourself and be proud of who you are.
Thanks Shunah!
Its an interesting thing. I was sitting a GRASP (an Aspergers support group) meeting yesterday. A couple others about my age were like me who were taught coping skills when we were younger. Others had no intervention. For me, I am grateful for the support I received. But why me and others were there is now in our late 20s, we are hitting walls again.
There are lack of adult therapists that know how to deal with someone like me. In general, People don't fully understand the condition. For me again it just means I get anxious easily and for that I am very lucky.
thank you.
i am sorry to hear about the lack of therapists with expertise in aspergers, but in my experience a good support group is worth a hundred therapists.
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