Throughout the years of my journey, I have always felt like there was
something "wrong with me". Friends and more than one therapist have
said to me, "there is nothing wrong with you! I wish you could realize
how right you really are."
After I left the "village", I grew up being told I was a "deviant" and "disgrace" because my village didn't understand
why a girl would want to be athletic let alone play a sport mainly
thought of as a sport played by manly men. Some of my friends' parents
appeared supportive and impressed. Some I am sure were truly so; others would give
the "good for her" to me and my parents while bad mouthing their
seemingly lack of control to others in the community.
I know I am lucky I had one parent who was fully supportive and another
who sort of went along. I sometimes look around my fb feed and notice
some of the kids I went to elementary school with are on child 2 or 3.
Others who I know had a rough time, either found their place like I have
or swallowed the blue pill to go back into the rabbit hole where "love"
and "success" could be found.
It comes down to we are all victims or victors of our upbringing.
Sometimes, what we go through makes us stronger and who we are. We think
of our past and look forward to a brighter future, surrounded by people
who support us. Other times, we get these negative "isms"; they be
called pessimism, judaism, etc. from the villages of our youth. We can
think a perfectly healthy activity makes us weird and unlovable because
that's what the village of our youth told us.
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