Saturday, April 7, 2012

some background on the previous post..

So I should have probably inserted a disclaimer before I posted the previous post.  My mom passed away of lung/uterine cancer in November 2009. She was diagnosed in 2006 and had lost her mind.. quite literally. In her opinion, I was always a bad person and a disgrace. While she had started to dislike my choices when I started to leave Judaism at 14; her hatred of my line of work in politics was also something she made apparent to me and select people in her "inner circle". My decision to work the 2008 cycle and the special election in 2009 was something she was unhappy with.

By the time the previous story happened, our relationship had completely soured for a variety of reasons including my choice in a boyfriend (I had previously kept any boyfriends secret from my family and even close friends). I freely admit I am a stubborn person, much like she was.   However, there was a tension that existed that went beyond our likenesses. She had been a damaged and controlling person that never liked when someone went against her reign, which at times was one of complete terror even before she was sick. She found her strength in bringing others down. I have always envied my siblings' ability to seemingly take her abuse, I was never that strong.

The previous post is now a joke among my friends and family. Hang around long enough, you'll hear something about "cinnamon". For my part, I have embraced the joke.

No comments: